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Archive for » November, 2008 «

A Seven Time Fraccer Talks…

70steen decided to tag me with a meme because she knows right now I can’t run. I suppose I can’t blame her, since the lovely tNb (tango) tagged her and what with all the visions of ‘men’ in silver pants filling her head, how could she think straight?

The rules are predictable and simple:

  • Link to your tagger and list these rules on your blog.
  • Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog – some random, some weird
  • Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blog.
  • Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

To be different (because everyone knows all I ever do is straight-forward, no-nonsense, hard-hitting journalism) I’ve decided to go with a gimmick. Yeah… me… fracas, is going with a gimmick. Aren’t you shocked? I’m also posting this at fraccers instead of fracas. I know… I’m shameless. I’ll do almost anything to get the word out about this fraccing place.

Being that I was tagged by 70steen, I’ve decided to write my 7 things about my own teen years.

  1. I was (mostly) a ‘good’ girl, and so when I was about 13 and was trying to impress this new ‘bad’ girl who had come to our school, I agreed to smoke a cigarette right in the school bathroom. Being a K-8 school, we of course, were found out rather quickly. Being known as a ‘good’ girl, I was able to talk the teacher out of calling my parents! Score one for teenie fracas!
  2. I still have my 8th grade graduation dress. It fits my daughter. She looks lovely in it.
  3. The first high school football game I went to, it poured rain. I hated it. I never went to another. To this day, I consider football evil and horrid.
  4. I got in with a ‘bad crowd’ during the 9th and 10th grade and hated it. Getting out of that crowd wasn’t easy, they were terribly ‘accepting’ of all your flaws and problems when you’re getting involved with them, but aren’t so ‘accepting’ of people wanting to get out of the crowd. They will call you names and make you miserable as long as you let them know it’s working.
  5. My one-up older fraccy sis always felt like my best friend even when I had a typical ‘best friend’.
  6. Of my high school friends, I am the only one who, as a teen, did not get pregnant and have an abortion, get pregnant and give a baby up for adoption, get pregnant and have a baby and keep it as a teen mom or get pregnant and get married while still in high school. Apparently, I am the only one who wasn’t having sex as a high school teen. Birth control might work, but apparently… abstinence works best!
  7. I moved into my own apartment while still in high school. Perhaps it was memories of the other fraccy sis who lived what I thought was the Mary Tyler Moore life that gave me courage to do that, but I too, felt like Mary Tyler Moore. I never did toss the hat skyward. Perhaps I still shall? I think I shall wait for her to return from Oz and we’ll do it together!

Now for my seven tags – with no apologies for those who hate memes and tags because I’ve decided to just embrace the fact that I, like everyone else in the world, am a fraccer and stop worrying about being nice…

I am bestowing this malady pleasure upon:

  1. Scratchbags – because she’s been too busy working hard and needs a push to post for herself again.
  2. Judy, aka Sugar Queen – because she hasn’t posted since her birthday.
  3. Andy – because I can’t wait to see if he has 7 things about himself weirder than those PETA folks he just wrote about.
  4. Cat Scratch Diva – because she likes to have a ‘meme’ in her back pocket just in case…
  5. Your Neighborhood Reverend – because anyone who has an ‘Avocado Watch’ page on his blog must have more interesting things to tell. (BTW… no avocado photo for a month? Sheesh!)
  6. JD from I Do Things – because she rightfully should’ve done this meme so I don’t have to…
  7. Cowgirl Betty – because a gal can’t live by condiments alone… we need to know more!

Disclaimer: Remember, you don’t have to write yours about your teen years… you only have to write 7 things about yourself that others might not know…

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IQ Test, Fraccer-style!

1. READ this sentence:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE- SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF- IC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.

2. Now, count aloud the F’s in that sentence. Count them ONLY ONCE; do not go back and count them again.

3. Now… write your answer down so you can’t cheat.

4. Enjoy the following chart of IQ’s for various types of occupations.

0T-List table showing average IQ's for various occupations

5. Wondering how you did on that test at the beginning? I’ll tell you only if you’re honest enough to leave a comment and let us know your score.

6. (Brief interruption to give credit to the source of the IQ occupation chart.)

7. And finally… the results.

There are six F’s in the sentence.

A person of average intelligence finds three of them.

If you spotted four, you’re above average.

If you got five, you can turn your nose at most anybody.

If you caught six, you are a genius.

There is no catch. Many people forget to count the F in the word “OF.” The human brain tends to see them as “V’s” instead of “F’s.”

Now… now you have to tell us how many F’s you read in the sentence, and if you need a reminder not to cheat… just check the poor doll in the fraccy banner.

[IQ test source]

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Joran Van der Sloot. The fraccer sold Natalee Holloway?

In my world, sometimes a fraccer is a good thing, fraccing being a bit about having fun… being silly, fooling around. Other times, a fraccer can be a bad thing, a nice way to say someone’s that word no one uses better than Gordon Ramsay. Don’t know anything about Ramsay? I’ll give you a hint. Say ‘fraccer’ several times, very fast… and see if you don’t figure it out. It (and versions of) seems to be one of his favorite words.

So today, my Gordon Ramsay f-word salute goes to none other than Joran Van der Sloot.

Disappeared US teenager Natalee Holloway was taken to an Aruba beach by Joran van der Sloot and sold there to a Venezuelan man who ‘wanted a blonde girl’, Mr Van der Sloot told Fox News TV.

In an interview with the US news channel, he claimed he repeatedly met the man in a casino. The Venezuelan offered him 10,000 US dollars.

Joran van der Sloot told how he watched Natalee, who was drunk, being hauled on board a vessel chartered by the Venezuelan. There was no struggle or anything, he said.

Natalee vanished on the Caribbean island of Aruba – part of the Kingdom of the Netherlands – on 30 May 2005. Joran van der Sloot has been arrested twice in connection with her disappearance, but without conclusive evidence he has never been brought to trial.

He now lives in Thailand, where he has come under suspicion of being involved in sex trafficking.

Read the rest of that story here

Apparently now though, he’s claiming he lied to interviewer Gretavan Susteren. As a mom of a daughter similar in age to Holloway, I can imagine the horror, pain and suffering the Holloways have already been through and are now set to go through again. Who wouldn’t want that one glimmer of hope of finding a daughter you’d thought likely dead? Yet… who could deal with information like this being tossed out at you, to torment your every moment (waking or not) with thoughts of your child alive somewhere and suffering… but you can’t rescue them.

For Van der Sloot to have thrown this bit of hope out and then taken it back… is nothing short of proof he’s not a sociopath, but a sadist. As a parent, how would any of us know which road to take? Should they believe she may be alive and seek to find and rescue her or should they believe again, that she’s dead and try make peace with that, believing that his newest claim was a lie. If they do that, and in fact, the claim was truth and she is out there, how would they live with that? His recent behaviour is nothing short of torture.

It’s about time someone did something about him.

Makes me think calling him a fraccer just isn’t enough. For Van der Sloot… only ‘fucker’ will do. Good thing I really don’t believe in those voodoo dolls

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Prince William has a willy, not a penis.

Prince William, caught with his willy out in public!It seems Prince William found himself with a predicament necessitating the removal of his manly bits in public, and like every other celebrity slip-up, it was preserved for posterity internet obsession. Sheesh… the world really is full of fraccers, isn’t it? When a Prince and future King can’t pull out his parts in public and expect a bit of privacy… honestly, what are we coming to?

Now, I, like most, like to complain, and this issue brings a whole lot of angles to complain about.

Like… why is that? Why can’t a famous bloke who’s minding his own business, whip out his chipolata and relieve himself in privacy and in peace? Why are we all so eager to see the private parts of anyone and everyone who’s ever been on the cover of a yellow rag? I mean… no one follows me with a camera, trying to catch me baring my naughty bits in public.

It’s not fair… it’s just not fair.

And why… why for the love of Pete… can’t women do the same? It’s not fair I tell you, not fair at all. We have to wait in endless lines at the ‘ladies room’ when all you men have to do is unzip your pants and water the posies wherever you are.

Hopefully, there are posies. 

See now that brings me to another complaint. Why the frac did those Rolling Stones make so much money with a song complaining about not being able to get any satisfaction when clearly… men like Prince William everywhere, are able to get satisfaction anywhere, anytime?  

And lastly… I’m complaining about all the people posting these photos of Prince William and titling their posts and articles with the phrase ”Prince William’s Penis”.

Folks… Prince William is British. They call it a Willy!

Oh yes.

The photos. I’m sure you arrived here hoping to see them.

Lest you chuck a wobbler, I shan’t disappoint you.  Here’s the (obviously NSFW) link to the photos, and for those of you looking for the (again, obviously NSFW) original video everyone and their dog has clipped the photos from, just keep your pants on… it’s here.

Fraccers. The world is full of them. Sometimes you laugh at them… sometimes you are one of them!

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