Fraccers

It really does take all kinds of people to make up the world, doesn’t it?

While some folks are happy to sport a perky nipple (or two), some folks just don’t seem all too happy to be brandishing a pair of ice picks.

I’ve come up with some solutions for those of you who aren’t terribly happy with the problem. Please note that I am not engaged financially, to the companies featured in this post. I am merely trying to help a desperate friend, who has recently been found suffering from a nipply plight of the cold-weather.  I know… it seems I will do anything for a friend. I’m just that way. But back to the problem at hand (as some might wish), I do understand how for some, suffering with perky nipples might be embarassing and not desired. You may have already tried wearing a padded bra (again, my friend, please don’t tell me if that’s the case…) or you may have tried layering on extra clothing to combat the cooler weather. Though these are good suggestions, what of those times where attire that’s a tad more flimsy is required? I suggest you try some of the following ideas.

Breast Petal Pasties – These disposable stick-ons are meant to hide your nipply nubs.
Hollywood CoverUps – Silicone and reuseable, these are for the perky nipple who like to be eco-friendly!
Heated Bras – Though this won’t help my friend (and if it does, I just don’t want to know…) it might be what you’re looking for.
Concealits – Being made of flesh-colored silicone, these nipple concealers are discreet enough for men to use.

Amazingly though,  In my search, I’ve learned that far more common, is a desire to make one’s nipples more perky.

My goodness, how times have changed!

I found the following bits of good advice for those wanting to give their nubblies a nudge over to the pleasantly (or phenomenally if that’s your goal) perky.

Fake Nipples – One can purchase fake nipples, to get that perky look when Mr. Sun has guaranteed a naturally perky nipple is naught.
Naturally Nubile – eHow’s article offering up several ways to get their nipples noticed naturally!
Specialty Bras – Pictured here is what’s known as an open cup bra. You might also search for an ‘open tip bra’. These bras provide support while baring the nipple, thus amplifying the effects of mother nature and that thermometer plunge. (Again, if my friend finds this information useful, I’d rather not know…)

I did find lots of links for people and places hawking nipple enlargement pumps, kits and all manner of snake-oil-type products, but I decline to link to those, suspecting just as with penis-enlargement, the only real, bonafide way to accomplish that is surgery.

So that brings me to the final segment. Maybe you’re bummed because you were hoping for some miraculous kit you could order and have bigger nipples seven days from now, or perhaps you just plain don’t care whether your nipples are showing or not showing. Perhaps you’re just interested in a tasy beverage that might make you forget about whether or not your nipples are too big, too small, sticking out or not. Maybe that drink will help you think your nipples (or someone else’s) are just fine the way they are.

I’ve located a few “Nipple Drink” recipes for you to enjoy.

Just please remember not to drive.

Ad if you’d like to weigh in on whether or not you have or don’t have the same problem as my friend, or if you’d like to share your opinion about whether or not perky nipples are a problem or a plus… leave a comment below. As for me? I’m keeping my opinion (and my nipples) under wraps right now…

Slippery Nipple #1
1/2 oz Kahlúa
1/2 oz Bailey’s Irish Cream
1/2 oz vodka
Using a shaker filled with ice, combine all ingredients. Shake well. Strain into a chilled cocktail glass.

Slippery Nipple #2
1 Oz. – Peppermint Schnapps
1 Oz. – Bailey’s Irish Cream
Layer liquors in the order they are given.

Slippery Nipple #3
3/4 oz. Baileys
3/4 oz. Sambuca
3/4 oz. Brandy.
Layer in a cordial glass as listed.

And how about for the more adventurous…

Branded Nipple
1 part Butterscotch schnapps
1 part Bailey’s irish cream
1 part Goldschlager
1 dash 151 proof rum
Float each ingredient over the previous, set on fire, and shoot it!