Fraccers

Soon it will be Easter, that time of the year where young ‘uns everywhere will gleefully hunt for and find, enough chocolate in the form of eggs, little rabbits and all manner of other such creatures of the forest which their parents have personally hunted for and captured at their local WalMart. The modern day parent, not wanting their children to grow up having to experience the horrors of restraint, will likely gift their children with no less than sixteen and a half pounds of a variety of chocolate that will, if actually eaten by said child, cause at least four cavities, one possible root canal, at least three and a half serious stomach-aches and the necessity to re-paint at least one room of their home after little Johnny (or Jane) Junior has trodden all over the walls (and ceiling) with their (likely) chocolate-covered shoes.

This year, fracas suggests something quite rash.

Don’t be silly. Of course I’m not suggesting any of you restrain yourself in your buying… heavens no! I’m suggesting, on the first night after the baskets have been opened (and while the children are sound asleep) you steal a significant portion of those chocolate bunnies, and re-use them in the following ways designed to see your tummy and teeth bearing the brunt of the bunny (thus saving your tots from terrible teeth and tumultuous tummies)! I’ve found for you, a baker’s dozen.

You might even be considered for Sainthood after this. After all… the stealing part isn’t really stealing (since you bought it in the first place)… and just think of how you’re martyring yourself!

Practical Uses for Too Much Easter Chocolate

1. Peanut Butter Fondue
   Chop your bunnies into small chunks and place them in a crock pot, or the top of a double boiler. When the chocolate has melted, stir in 1/2 cup peanut butter (or less, or more, depending on how much bunny you’re re-using) Stir until smooth. Dip your choice of graham cookies, biscotti, marshmallows, whole washed strawberries or chunks of banana. Heck… you might even want to dip potato chips… but make sure to use the really think and ridged kind so as to avoid an ugly crumbled chip mess in the dip.
2. Chocolate Chunk Cookies
   Chop your bunnies into chunks the size of really large chocolate baking chips. Add to your favorite cookie recipe instead of using purchased baking chips.
3. Bunny Brownies
   Chop your bunnies into small pieces and melt in the top of a double boiler. Use to frost brownies with. Cool, cut and enjoy!
4. Ice Cream Crackle
   Chop your bunnies into chunks and melt in the top of a double boiler. Add a small amount of vanilla, or a splash or two of your favorite liqueur and stir until smooth. Drizzle over ice cream, wait for it to harden and then crack with your spoon… dig in and enjoy!
5. A Berry Good Sauce
   Chop your bunnies into chunks and melt in the top of a double boiler. Add an ounce or two of your favorite liqueur, or 1/4 cup of raspberry jam and stir until melted and smooth. Drizzle over a dish of prepared berries, top with a plop of sweetened whipped cream, and never tell the tots it was once Mr. Bunny’s bottom.
6. Filled Cones
   Chop your bunnies into chunks and melt in the top of a double boiler. Fill a pastry bag with the melted chocolate and use to fill store-purchased plain ice cream cones about 1/5 full. Place in the refrigerator to cool quickly (before the cones can get soft) and you’ll have gourmet ice cream cones for next time’s treat.
7. A Better Dish of Porridge
   Chop Bunnies into smallish chunks and store in a cannister or glass jar. The next time you serve porridge, add a handful of your favorite nut to the pot when cooking, and then toss a spoonful of the chunks into the cooked cereal. Porridge never tasted so good!
8. Chocolate Lip Gloss
   In the top of a double boiler, melt 3 tablespoons of cocoa butter, a few chocolate chunks (the equivalent of 5 chocolate chips) and one vitamin E capsule. Stir together with a spoon until the final product is smooth and creamy. Pour it into an empty lip gloss pot or other small container, and refrigerate it until it is solidified into standard lip gloss form. While this method doesn’t use up a lot of bunny at any one time, you could always make a whole batch and share bunny’s bottom with your friends.
9. Chocolate Pancakes
   For chip pancakes, chop the desired quantity of bunnies into bits and add to your favorite pancake batter. For chocolate through and through pancakes, chop your bunnies into bits, melt them, and then add the melted bunnies to your batter. Beat until smooth and you’ll have a better beaten bunny batter than you’ve ever had before!
10. Chocolate for Supper
    It goes without saying that certain savory items are all the better with a hint of chocolate. After all, Mexican Mole Sauce has a chocolate secret, so why not other dishes? Try using up some leftover bunny in your next batch of Braised Short Ribs. We won’t split hares, but I’m betting it’s tastier than ribs cooked without chocolate!
11. Chocolate Pretzels
    Make your pretzel snacks hopping good by dipping them in melted bunny bits and rolling them in crushed candies, sesame seeds or whatever you think will curl your tail! Dip, set on wax paper or parchment until hardened, and enjoy. These make great gifts too. Package a few in cellophane for a real gourmet treat.
12. Chocolate Spoons
    Finally, what’s better than having a cannister full of chocolate spoons just waiting to be dunked into your next piping hot cup of coffee? It’s as easy as melting your chopped bunny bits and dipping a plastic spoon. When the first dipped layer hardens, dip again and repeat until you have the desired amount of coating on your spoon. You can then dip that in crushes mints or other candies, or just leave plain. Allow to harden on wax or parchment paper, and wrap in cellophane. Several of these in a bundle makes a nice hostess (or teacher) gift.
13. Edible Body Paint
    Chop the desired quantity of bunnies into bits and melt. Allow to cool to body temperature, and use your runny bunny for all kinds of interesting ‘activities’. You might choose to add a splash or two of your favorite liqueur to the runny bunny to keep with the ’spirit’ of things, and it goes without saying that this is the perfect use for leftover naughty bunny bits. Just don’t tell the kids what really happened to the rest of their choccy cottontail…

And that… is the end of our best baker’s dozen of ideas for what to do with leftover bunny bits.