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Archive for the Category »Entertainment «

Re-Vamping a Classic

Have you ever sat and realized how some days, the internet is terribly boring? One can only watch so many videos of stupid people falling into puddles of mud and falling victim to their friends and families’ idea of a good practical joke before one becomes weary. Indeed… sometimes we long to be able to relax with one of the classics.

And yet, sometimes the classics are (forgive me…) boring.

If you, like me, have ever thought the classics should be more interesting, you’ve come to the right place.  Fracas is pleased to assist you. Below, I’ve prepared a sample snippet that I hope will help you renew (or begin) a love of the classics.  I give you:

Leo Tolstoy’s War and Peace

(Chapter 1… as read by: The Swedish Chef )

Original:

“Well, Prince, so Genoa and Lucca are now just family estates of the Buonapartes. But I warn you, if you don`t tell me that this means war, if you still try to defend the infamies and horrors perpetrated by that AntichristI really believe he is AntichristI will have nothing more to do with you and you are no longer my friend, no longer my `faithful slave,` as you call yourself! But how do you do? I see I have frightened you. Sit down and tell me all the news.”

It was in July, 1805, and the speaker was the well-known Anna Pavlovna Scherer, maid of honor and favorite of the Empress Marya Fedorovna. With these words she greeted Prince Vasili Kuragin, a man of high rank and importance, who was the first to arrive at her reception. Anna Pavlovna had had a cough for some days. She was, as she said, suffering from la grippe; grippe being then a new word in St. Petersburg, used only by the elite.

New:

The Swedish Chef reading Tolstoy's War and Peace“Vell, Preence-a, su Genua und Loocca ere-a noo joost femeely istetes ooff zee Boounepertes. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Boot I vern yuoo, iff yuoo dun`t tell me-a thet thees meuns ver, iff yuoo steell try tu deffend zee inffemeees und hurrurs perpetreted by thet UnteechristI reelly beleeefe-a he-a is UnteechristI veell hefe-a nutheeng mure-a tu du veet yuoo und yuoo ere-a nu lunger my freeend, nu lunger my `feeethffool slefe-a,` es yuoo cell yuoorselff! Boot hoo du yuoo du? I see-a I hefe-a freeghtened yuooseet doon und tell me-a ell zee noos. Um gesh dee bork, bork!”

It ves in Jooly, 1805, und zee speeker ves zee vell-knoon Unna Peflufna Scherer, meeed ooff hunur und fefureete-a ooff zee Impress Merya Fedurufna. Veet zeese-a vurds she-a greeted Preence-a Feseeli Kooregeen, a mun ooff heegh runk und impurtunce-a, vhu ves zee furst tu erreefe-a et her recepshun. Unna Peflufna hed hed a cuoogh fur sume-a deys. Um gesh dee bork, bork! She-a ves, es she-a seeed, sooffffereeng frum la greeppe-a; greeppe-a beeeng zeen a noo vurd in St. Um de hur de hur de hur. Petersboorg, used oonly by zee ileete-a.

Do you see what I mean? All you who previously thought the classics were too boring to read, may now enjoy everything from Tolstoy, Shakespeare, Bronte and Chaucer, to Nietzsche, Twain and Sir Frances Bacon.

It’s quite simply done. Select your author and locate the text you’re interested in, visit The Dialectizer, pop your chosen text into the windowbox and click. Now you too, can enjoy the classics in the format that interests you most!

You’re welcome… and happy reading… dee bork, bork!

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Source Credit:War and Peace excerpt credit from http://tolstoy.classicauthors.net/warandpeac/warandpeac1.html

The Fun Theory

With the new blog theme finally installed, I wanted to post a youtube video to test the settings I’d created. Here’s the perfect video to test out the fraccers perfect new theme. I promise it will make you smile!

This video was embedded using the YouTuber plugin by Roy Tanck. Adobe Flash Player is required to view the video.

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Pink Glove Dance

This is the most heartwarming thing I’ve seen today. Fracas isn’t just about humour, fracas and fraccers is also about remembering that sometimes people do things that remind us it’s still good to be a human.

Execs over at Medline Industries Inc. thought that if they produced some pink gloves, seeing medical personnel wearing them would prompt discussion about breast cancer, and that ultimately some of the funds generated from their purchase could go towards paying for mammograms for women who couldn’t afford them.

Providence St. Vincent Medical Center in Portland, Ore., decided to help by making a video and posting it on YouTube.

Enter John McKenzie from ABC News. He saw the video and ABC ran the story.  At that time, they note there was over 1.6 million views.  As of right now, the views are over 2 million. I’ve found the original version for you to view right here.

I warn you… it will make you smile. That many people willing to dance before the world, regardless of whether they look silly or not, to help someone they might never meet! 

Some days you feel like the world is shat. Some days, there are folks who make you forget that. 

          This video was embedded using the YouTuber plugin by Roy Tanck. Adobe Flash Player is required to view the video.

Even if I never meet anyone who received one of those free mammograms, thank you to Providence St. Vincent Medical Center in Portland, Oregon, for making me forget about the shat!

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Ghoulishly Gross Food Smorg

Entertaining at Halloween means great gross and ghoulish food and treats. Each day until Halloween, Fraccers will post a gross recipe for you to impress your friends with, but today? Today you get the smorgasborg! Everyone knows a good host or hostess needs at least a bit of time to get things together, so I’m posting a buffet of recipes today to give you a head start on your weekend monster mash. Please consider saying thanks by browsing the google ads, which throws a few pennies the fraccy way! You never know what goodies you just might find!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Roasted Roach Dip

3 slices of whole wheat bread, well toasted
1/4 C. walnut pieces
4 cloves of garlic, coarsely chopped
2 tbsp. freshly squeezed lemon juice
1 tbsp. extra virgin olive oil
3/4 C. water
2 tbsp. fresh parsley, chopped
salt and pepper, to taste

In a food processor (or by hand), crumble the toast into fine crumbs. Then, in a food processor or blender, combine walnuts, garlic, and crumbs until all is finely ground. Add lemon, oil, and parsley. Process until smooth. Add water as needed until desired consistency. Add salt and pepper to taste.

This is easy to make ahead of time. As it sits in the fridge, it gets a little darker, giving an even more authetic ‘bug puree’ kind of look. Serve in a bowl labeled “Roasted Roach Dip” and for effect, put a dob of dip on the under side of a plastic cockroach, and set it to look like it’s crawling in or out of the bowl!
 
Edible Ashes

1/3 C. oreo cookie crumbs (approximate)
1/3 C. powdered sugar (approximate)
Candy cigarettes
1 large, never used ashtray

Wash the ashtray with soap and water and dry thoroughly. Pulse oreo cookie crumbs in the food processor until very, very fine. You want the crumbs almost as fine as the powdered sugar. Place the crumbs in the bottom of your clean, dry ashtray. Sift powdered sugar over cookie crumbs. Mix gently until half mixed and half marbled. Add candy cigarettes that have been “put out” in the ash.

This is more of a topping for other nibbles like fruit or even pudding. Chocolate pudding cups with gummy worms slithering in and out of it with a tasty topping of cigarette ashes. Yummmmmmmmm.

Eyeball Icecubes

These are so easy, the instructions are pictured. All you need are radishes, olives, water… and the inclination to drink something clear (like a martini) or bloody (like a tomato juice coctail) to float them in.

                       eyeball icecubes for halloween photo

Used Q-Tips

Miniature Marshmallows
Caramels for melting
Lollipop sticks

Place a marshmallow on each end of your lollipop sticks (the kind you buy for making chocolate lollies, etc.) and dip the tips of the marshmallows in the melted caramel to resemble ear wax. Let Cool on wax paper and when caramel is set, pile up your used Q-tips on a platter. An even more effective presentation would be to purchase a new, small sized plastic wastebin from a dollar-type store, stuff it with crumpled paper and then place plastic atop the paper. Now when you pile up your used Q-tips, it will look like they are in the trash! You’re so clever!

Stuffed Roaches (or Beetles)

1/3 C. cream cheese, softened
1/4 C. walnuts (or your favorite nut), chopped semi-fine
20-30 dates, pitted

In a small bowl, combine cream cheese and nuts til well mixed. Gently fill each date with the mixture, making a larger cut in them if needed. Serve on a tray decorated with additional plastic roaches or beetles. Label the tray as “Stuffed Roaches” or “Stuffed Beetles” etc.

Kitty Litter Cake

1 spice or German chocolate cake mix
1 white cake mix
1 large pkg vanilla instant pudding mix
1 pkg vanilla sandwich cookies
Green food coloring
12 small Tootsie Rolls
1 new (and definitely unused) kitty litter pan
1 new plastic kitty litter pan liner
1 new Pooper Scooper

Prepare cake mixes and bake according to directions (any size pans). Prepare pudding mix and chill until ready to assemble. Crumble white sandwich cookies in small batches in food processor, scraping often. Set aside all but about 1/4 cup. To the 1/4 cup cookie crumbs, add a few drops green food coloring and mix using 5. When cakes are cooled to room temperature, crumble into a large bowl. Toss with half the remaining white cookie crumbs and the chilled pudding. (Mix in just enough of the pudding to moisten it. You don’t want it soggy. Combine gently).

Line new, clean kitty litter box. Put mixture into litter box. Put three unwrapped Tootsie rolls in a microwave safe dish and heat until soft and pliable. Shape ends so they are no longer blunt, curving slightly. Repeat with 3 more Tootsie rolls and bury in mixture. Sprinkle the other half of cookie crumbs over top.

Scatter the green cookie crumbs lightly over the top. (This is supposed to look like the chlorophyll in kitty litter.) Heat 3 Tootsie Rolls in the microwave until almost melted. Scrape them on top of the cake; sprinkle with cookie crumbs. Spread remaining Tootsie Rolls over the top; take one and heat until pliable, hang it over the side of the kitty litter box, sprinkling it lightly with cookie crumbs. Place the box on a newspaper and sprinkle a few of the cookie crumbs around.

Floating Frozen Hand

Wash a disposable glove, and fill it with water that’s been colored either a flesh color, bloody red… or witchy green, and freeze it solid. Prepare a punch beverage of your choice and just before party time, unmold the hand by running it under warm water just until you can tell it’s ready to release. Peel off the glove and float your hand in the punch. For a creepier effect, when placing the glove in the freezer, (purchase the largest size glove you can find) tie off the end and play with the positioning of the fingers to make it look gnarled or claw-like (using other frozen foods to prop and position with). If you get a good claw shape, you can float it upside down so that the fingers peek out of the punch.

Bloody Eyeballs

About 2 lbs of eyeball meatballs
2 12 oz. jars chili sauce
1 1/2 cups apricot jelly
2 Tbsp. Worcestershire sauce

Prepare your favorite cocktail meatball recipe, only when forming them, insert an olive to create the eyeball look. Cook. Prepare the bloody sauce with the remaining ingredients. Heat thoroughly and toss together. Serve with a little container of ‘wooden stakes’ (toothpicks) for guests to help themselves with.

Brain Dip

4 ripe avocados
2 Tbsp. freshly-squeezed lime juice
1/2 tsp. kosher salt
1 tsp. minced garlic (use the kind from the jar)
1/4 cup finely-chopped fresh cilantro

To pit the avocado, cut into the fruit lengthwise with your knife until you reach the pit. Keeping the knife still, turn the avocado with your free hand so that the knife goes all the way around the pit. Put the knife down and twist the avocado halves in opposite directions. The avocado will easily open. Scoop out the pit with a spoon. Using a spoon, scrape out the avocado flesh and place in a small bowl. Mash with a fork. Sprinkle with lime juice. Stir in remaining ingredients.

Serve this either in a bowl with a sign calling it “Brain Dip” or “Monster Brains” or for even more effect, scout out an old fashioned plastic baby doll (the kind we old folks had as kids) and remove the head from the body and then with craft scissors or a craft knife, remove the very top of the head. After thoroughly washing it with soap and water (pour boiling water in it to sterilize), set the head on a plate of lettuce and serve the dip inside the head as a bowl. No sign will be needed with this method.

More Recipes including:

  1. Witch Hat Cookies
  2. Bleeding Human Heart
  3. Witch Finger Cookies
    and
  4. Spooky Spider Cookies

can be found by visiting Just Fracas… another of the fraccy factions!

Stay tuned. Another recipe will be here tomorrow and each day until Halloween is here!

Boo-bye for now.

Fracas signature

Image Sources: Eyeball Icecubes