Say “Cheese” You Dirty Bastards

Ok, maybe that’s a bit harsh and you all aren’t exactly (or technically, though maybe some of you are…) bastards, but according to the article I just read, a goodly percentage of you folks out there are dirty.

And I don’t mean in the good ‘dirty’ way, I mean in the filthy dirty way.

For its new fridge, Whirlpool Corp. spent months inventing a shelf with microscopic etching so it can hold a can of spilled soda.

The technology is just one weapon against a dirty kitchen secret: Most Americans clean their fridges only once or twice a year.

Manufacturers aiming to create a cleaner, tidier fridge are likely facing an uphill battle: Currently, most Americans don’t clean their fridges until something triggers them to act, such as a spill or a pungent odor. They also don’t devote much effort to the task, even when they come home with bags of new groceries. In Whirlpool’s 2005 refrigerator habits survey of 2,571 consumers, 33% said they don’t spend any time cleaning the refrigerator before grocery shopping. In order to make room for items just purchased, 27% reported shoving everything in and not worrying about organization. [1]

Are you serious, people?

Really and truthfully, you don’t clean your refrigerator out?

I have to confess that every time I do the groceries, I clean the refrigerator. If you do it often enough, it’s never actually a big job, so reading this… I was astounded. I also have to wonder if it’s even true. I mean, it did occur to me that this might be a marketing ploy. Coming up with spanky new features just might entice folks to shell out up to $1,799.00 on a refrigerator because it can hold reems of spills and hide your bacteria, keeping you from needing to replace ‘ice cream’ on your grocery list with antacids and nausea relief medication.

But then I read on.

People often don’t store things properly anyway. Four years ago, in an effort to understand how people organize their fridges, Sub-Zero bought a week’s worth of groceries and asked a group of 12 customers to put away the items in refrigerators at the company’s research facilities in Madison, Wis.

What ensued was chaos. People put meat and soda cans in the crisper drawers, which have a temperature and humidity meant for veggies. They put their milk in shelves on the door. While the door shelves seem to be a perfect fit for a carton of milk, Sub-Zero says the area is the worst place to store dairy products because it’s the warmest part of the fridge.

And most folks had no clue what to do with the special cheese compartment… [1]

I grant you, it’s fair to acknowledge that most people don’t realize the door isn’t the place for milk, but I’m not sure I’m willing to believe there are legions of people out there who, despite having mustered enough skill and intelligence to pass the test and become licensed to get in a car and drive to the store to buy the cheese… don’t realize that the little compartment with its own door (with a sign on it that says, “Cheese”) is actually, oh, I don’t know… for the cheese.

Perhaps you don’t understand it though? Perhaps when you open the door and see that little sign that says cheese on it, you think there’s a little man in there with a camera or something?

Please tell me it ain’t so.

Tell me it’s all a scheme to separate Generation Jones [2] from $1,799.00.

Otherwise, I may just have to make you lick the bottom shelf of your own refrigerator!

Sources:

[1] Why Won’t Anyone Clean Me?

Text URL: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703503804575083453336699386.html?mod=rss_Today’s_Most_Popular

[2] Generation Jones

Text URL: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generation_Jones