FAQ

Ok.. so I am a huge arse… a fracarse to be more specific. A certain British bloke has already claimed the honours for dubbing me such though, so don’t get too excited.

You’ve arrived here to the frequently asked questions page and, well… there aren’t that many questions and answers here.

Are you annoyed? Do you want to use an f-word? Please do. I like f-words.

So what exactly is fraccers about?

Fraccers is about you. Well, and me too, but there will be plenty of you, and plenty of things for you to do, enjoy and be here… peppered with a flagrant use of ‘f’ words.

But I will answer your questions, so if you have one, post it here (or email it). I’ll answer it (within reason of course, don’t ask me what I weigh or what my deep, dark secrets are or I’ll probably lie) and my answer to your question will be the answer to someone else’s question and then you’ll feel so important because you asked it first.

The Facts:

1.    John asked: What is your favorite memory about Halloween?

Fracas answered: My own kids’ memories aside (because if I choose one over the other, I’m a bad mom…) it would be making and bagging popcorn with my mom way back in those 1970s. It was still ok to do that, and she’d make it in a huge pot. If you were bagging it with her, you got to eat while you worked. Then… because I was far too mature to trick or treat any longer, I got to hand out the treats. See… I was bossy even back then.

2.   Joan asked:  Why all the ads in the sidebar? 

Fracas answered: The links in the sidebar are either sponsors or affiliates. I, like many others online (including the big name boys like Techcrunch for example) have chosen to accept some sponsorship and include some affliliate links in order to earn a bit of income while blogging. Blogging well takes considerable time and effort, and earning a bit honestly allows good bloggers to keep providing a place for others to enjoy visiting, learning something new or just have fun. 

So do click… and do consider patronizing one of my sponsors or affiliates. It’s the way to keep the fraccy group of sites alive!

I thank you, sincerely!

3.   Maggie asked: How old are you? How many kids do you have? You’re pretty funny.

Fracas answered: I’m 44 45. I know… that’s so young! I can’t possibly have had enough life experience to be this opinionated, but c’est la vie! I think was this way before I could talk. I have three kids. Two are over 18 and one is a spittle away from that ‘teenage’ birthday 13, therefore I purchase the hair coloring in bulk now.

That desperate need for hair coloring is at least one of the reasons for all this whining about donations, ads (or hiring me) and constant pestering of folks with sponsor ads. But frac… if everyone would’ve just donated their $25.72, I wouldn’t need to do this! I appreciate that you find me funny. Please leave your real name and address in the comments, so I can add you to my will, replacing all those in my family (that means you, you naughty teenagers) who don’t!

4.   Daddy Papersurfer asked: Why is ’sap’ a derogatory word as it is vital in the rain forests so that trees can grow to enable them to be cut down?

Fracas answered: Pertaining to trees, to be a ’sap’ is quite admirable. Sap from trees is a good thing, especially if we’re talking about Maple trees. Being Canadian, I’m quite fond of tree sap. I don’t however, have a terrible desire to make syrup out of what might drip out of a person in the flu-ridden spring of each year, so ’sap’ from a human is a nasty (therefore derogatory) thing. I hope you now feel much better about all those trees in the rain forest being cut down.

5.   Daddy Papersurfer asked: Why do goddesses complicate the simplest things?

Fracas answered: It is not so much that goddesses complicate the simplest things, but that they who serve goddesses are often too simple to understand why some things must be complicated!

6.   Daddy Papersurfer asked: Talking about ’simple things’, why are peabrains so kind and understanding of goddesses?

Fracas answered: Now this is one of the times where the answer is quite simple. Peabrains are so kind and understanding of goddesses because they cannot live without them.

7.   Daddy Papersurfer asked: What makes the gingernut the perfect snack?

Fracas answered: Much like goddesses, the gingernut is both tart and sweet at the same time. It is both crisp and crunchy, and yet chewy… which means it takes far longer for a peabrain to consume a gingernut than something like a regular chocolate chip cookie. This adds to the culinary experience for the peabrain, and yet… the time it keeps a peabrain busy and quiet, is also an enjoyable experience for the goddess. Thus, the gingernut is the perfect snack.

8.   LOTGK asked: A simple question….. Why?

Fracas answered: A simple answer. Why not?

9.   John asked: Do Canadian women make the same sound as American women orgasming?

Fracas answered: Since I have not such relationships with either Canadian nor American women, I am unable to answer your question from personal knowledge. However, with the proliferance of starlets and everyday recording devices such as digital cameras with video capabilities and cellphones with the same, it is highly possible that you will be able to find both a Canadian and an American woman who have recorded such dalliances (for historical or medical purposes I’m sure) and ‘accidentally’ released them to the internet. In fact, I believe there are posts at the fracas blog, revealing links to several such starlets (and one Gene Simmons, just in case you are also curious about the sounds made by American men….).

I’m sure your curiosity is strictly based on scientific wonder. It’s quite remarkable that you haven’t received some type of ‘award’ already for your never-ending interest in the subject. Perhaps there is an award in the wings? One never knows… 

So you haven’t asked fracas a question yet…

Now aren’t you jealous? Someone else asked the first three nine questions. I bet you want to say a bad word? Go ahead and do it… then ask your question. Being fourth tenth isn’t all that bad, is it? You’re still ahead of all those other saps…

Frac. Now what am I going to say to encourage you to be next? After all, I just called you a sap. Maybe you want to prove you aren’t one now? Go ahead, post and ask something then, and you’ll be off the sap list. (Not to worry… if you choose to email it, I promise not to post your last name or your email address!)