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Are You A Sap?

You don’t want to be a sap.

I mean it… really, do you want to go through life knowing you’re a sap?

I didn’t think so, so listen up:

I have this FAQ page, but while this blog was having a bit of a makeover crisis, that FAQ page was disabled. I mean… it seemed stupid to be offering to answer questions when I wasn’t even sure what I was going to be wearing, doing or shilling, so I took it down.

Well, fracas has finally figured out what this blog is supposed to be and how to do it, and so the FAQ page is back up, but  in dire need of some very intelligent questions to answer.

I’m sure you have intelligent questions for me, don’t you?

The goosey thinking capYou see, those who ask good questions are revered and honoured here at fraccers, and maybe they might even be allowed to ruffle my feathers a bit… but those who don’t ask questions are, well… saps.

Did you know that?

Saps.

It doesn’t sound very good does it? It sounds all, sappy-like… as though you’re too weak and runny and icky and sticky to be able to ask a good, itelligent question. We all know too, that geese aren’t interested in sap, that distinction belongs to birds like sap-suckers… yellow-bellied sap suckers to be precise. Yellow bellies. You know what that means, don’t you? I bet you don’t want to be that, now… do you?

So put on your thinking cap (you can use this one if you don’t already have one of your own) and do your best not to be yellow-bellied (or a sap). We’re all watching and waiting now, you know…

Merci. (I really do love you to bits for it!)

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Ptyalism. I could just spit!

I admit it… there’s not much point in hiding it anymore, so I’ll just say it.

Fracas is a geek.

learning is as good as chocolate mousseA while back I posted the definitions for a couple of wacky words made popular by Jennifer Aniston’s character in the move Love Happens, and that post is still getting attention. For a gal who loves her words, that’s as good as a big ole dish of real chocolate mousse (and the words won’t go to my hips either).

Today, some very interested folks out there in that (albeit invisible) mesh of peoples’ thoughts and musings called the interweave, have been wondering what the definition of the word ptyalism is.

Since your need to know also means I get to do two of my favorite things (learning something new and helping someone else…) I’m more than happy to help! Merriam Webster offered this:

Main Entry: pty·a·lism
Pronunciation: \-ˌli-zəm\
Function: noun
Etymology: New Latin ptyalismus, from Greek ptyalismos, from ptyalizein to salivate, from ptyalon
Date: 1676

: an excessive flow of saliva

Additionally, I located this, which makes more clear, that it is a medical condition which is sometimes benign and not to worry about, other times can have serious causes requiring attention.

ptyalism
[tī′əliz′əm]
Etymology: Gk, <em>ptyalon,</em> spittle
Mosby’s Medical Dictionary, 8th edition. © 2009, Elsevier.

excessive salivation, such as sometimes occurs in the early months of pregnancy. It is also a clinical sign of mercury poisoning. Also called hyperptyalism. See also sialorrhea.

Should you have just learned that you might be suffering from ptyalism, please check with your family physician. For those of us who are just geeks… I hope this is what you’re looking for, and now that you, too, know a new word, we can both feel like we just had a big ole dish of real chocolate mousse.

Are you salivating yet?

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Pat Robertson Has Tasty Brains

Fracas is astounded at the things Pat Robertson has been saying about the earthquake in Haiti, and because fracas usually likes to figure out why people do the things they do, here’s what I’ve brainstormed.

  1. Suggesting this earthquake is some punishment from God is a pretty brainless comment.
  2. Pat Robertson must have no (or a reduced amount of) brains.
  3. Something happened to his brains, what?
  4. Everyone knows that zombies love to eat brains.
  5. People (even zombie people) tend to prefer to eat what is tasty to them.
  6. Zombies must have eaten Pat Robertson’s brains.
  7. Pat Robertson’s brains must be tasty.

I rest my case.

Please feel free to debate this in the comments, or add your alternate theory for discussion.

Want to help?

Find the agency you prefer to donate to:

CNN’s list is here: http://edition.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2007/impact/

Another group I learned of via twitter, has already been involved in projects in Haiti and so already has people on the ground there. They are:

Hands On Disaster Response: http://hodr.org/

And please, do your part to stop comments like Robertson’s in their tracks. Perhaps a tragedy will strike Robertson’s own family some day, and then he’ll have to ask himself what he did that meant God was punishing him?

Merci!

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Category: Life, News, World  11 Comments

Don’t Call Me Baby Anymore…

This will never happen to fracas…

An elderly gent was invited to his old friend’s home for dinner one evening.

He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms – “Honey”, “My Love”, “Darling”, “Sweetheart”, “Pumpkin”, etc.

The couple had been married 62 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love.

While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host, “I think it’s wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names.”

The old man hung his head.

“I have to tell you the truth,” he said “I forgot her name about 10 years ago.”

Indeed… there’s no way this will ever happen to me. We haven’t even gotten to that 25 year anniversary, and Mr. Fracas already forgot my name years ago!

(So what’s your pet’s pet name for you? Don’t be shy now… share.)

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Category: Humor, Humour, Life  7 Comments